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Archive for the ‘ramblings’ Category

你还好吗?

从前当记者,最不喜欢访问‘大人物’,反而钟意和‘小人物’聊天。

大人物不是太管腔,就是爱摆架子,从他们嘴里冒出来的话,都经过小心包装,也不知道前后彩排了多少遍,最后才漂漂亮亮地从呈现出来。

小人物就不一样。他们心直口快,偶尔会冒出无厘头的看法,有时会说出金玉良言。

就有这么一名教育程度只达小学六年级的受访者。她曾是名工厂女工,每月工资不到800元。

她说:“生活是很辛苦的,但是在怎么辛苦,只要开心、看得开,走过去了就很好。”

喜欢当记者,因为可以从别人身上得到力量和勇气。

你还好吗?也许你目前的日子过得不如意,但一定要记得:走过去了就很好。

真的。

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summer time

Today, I re-read a few of my posts. And got a bit emo.

 

I realised that after all these while, since I first started this blog in 2009, I’m still searching.

 

Looking for what’s suitable for me, trying to find the something that would keep me happily occupied.

 

I’m glad my thought processes are recorded here. It’s a good reminder for me to never give up this search, and that everytime I come back here, I’m perhaps one step closer to reaching where I want to be.

 

Starting with the basics, here’s a list of what I like and don’t like to do:

+ I like reading.

+ I like writing.

+ I like talking to people.

+ I like to take pictures.

+ I like to think of new ideas and creating things.

 

– I don’t like to manage people.

– I don’t like to follow instructions I don’t believe in.

– I don’t like to do admin stuff.

 

I’m thinking of a project to revamp and revitalise this blog. Definitely very much to do with the list of things I like to do.

 

Wish me luck and I welcome all suggestions! 🙂

 

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It’s been a while

About a year and six months since hopy drove me and my boxes away from TPY north.

 

Exactly a year since I stepped into my new office at J8.

 

Almost three months since I last blogged.

 

While I alternate between lamenting about my lack of time and lack of activities, I’ve hit 28.

 

I’ve never been much of a planner. There’s never “I want to  be ________ when I grow up” or “I want to be married by___.” or “I want to ___________ by the time I’m __.”

 

I’ve come to realise that I have a rather short attention span. Always flitting around, from A to B to C to A to D…. One moment I’ll be dying to do this, a few days later, the fire would be gone and I’m onto something else, or back to square one.

 

When I left the newsroom, I told myself (and others), it was to try something new, preferably something which would allow me to travel. When that job fell through, I went travelling, for half a year, before settling into this current job.

 

I wouldn’t say that I’m not happy here. There are indeed many plus points, e.g. work-life balance is something that can be hard to come by in other places.

 

But I still lust for something. And I don’t know how to describe this longing.

 

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get right down to doing something which would keep me so occupied and so satisfied that I can do it for a long long long long time to come.

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It’s that time of the year

As 2010 draws to an end, it’s again time to take stock of events which had happened, and feelings about how the year had passed.

 

Twenty-ten is a year of explorations and changes.

 

The year started off with the end of a journey with my mom, then taking a plunge into the social service sector, adjusting to a completely different job scope and pace of work. Getting re-acquainted with an old friend and the unexpected romance which came with it. Sending off a few good friends to begin their new chapters overseas. Learning to spend more time with my family. Going for an unplanned trip to Southern Thailand.  

 

I should be contented with my lot.

 

May twenty-eleven be filled with more adventures. Bring it on! 

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Tomorrow after tomorrow

Perhaps December should be an official holiday month. Thoughts of work are left behind when people travel, and even if one doesn’t travel, work is the last thing on the mind.

 

Near the end of this seemingly endless week, I texted Mr Chua to meet for lunch. We caught up over two bowls of sumptous laksa. Holiday, relationships, baby, work. Then he pulled out this book , a project that he pursued with three other photographers, documenting the last journey of seven terminally ill patients.

 

He said shooting this project has made him cherish the people around him and made him reflect on his priorities in life.

 

“It is innately human to be lazy, we always think that things can be done tomorrow. We procrastinate because there’s always a tomorrow.”

 

I carried the book and flipped through it on my office desk.

 

Sometimes when life seems a bore, and nothing seems to be able to cheer you up, a few simple words and pictures can mean so much. Poring through the pages, I thought, they have so little time left, and yet they are already trying to do so much. What am I, a healthy being, doing?

 

You’re right, Mr Chua, we keep thinking that tomorrow will come. But we don’t realise that nobody is guaranteed a tomorrow. We are only granted today.

 

 

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on this friday afternoon….

I so feel like skipping town!

 

This blog seems to be semi-defunct nowadays, I don’t know what I’ve been doing such that this poor thing is now covered in cobwebs.

 

Such a boring day at work…. zzzzzz…… I just wanna go out and play! Let me out please!

 

 

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怪胎

人是那么奇怪的动物,总是不会因为自己拥有什么而满足,总是看到别人拥有什么而羡慕。其实自己很清楚,每个人都有自己该走的路、适合做的事。有时候自己已经决定了什么,却又因为某些什么而怀疑自己。

 

yz和cx离开早报,想起自己阔别当记者的日子已经一年。三年的记者生涯,老实说过得很快、很充实。当然有不愉快的时候,但是回想起那段日子,还是快乐比较多。特别怀念和其他记者的相处、一起追新闻的快感。在第一时间赶到意外现场、在事发现场守候、在高至大腿的积水中采访、在接到老板电话的数小时后赶到机场出国采访……很多很多,把那三年的时间填得满满的。

 

自己并不是从小立志当记者的那种。可以说是长大后误打误撞入行。小时候作文写得还不错,后来理科读得不像话,没办法就选择不需要太用功背书的mass comm混日子。因为华文程度比其他同学好一点,英文程度又比别人差,申请到早报实习。半年的时间过得挺好玩的,毕业前早报刚好在招聘,因为懒得找工作,就直接申请,就这样被录取。

 

想想好像挺没出息的,懒懒散散,没有认真思考自己要的是什么。可能因为这样,三年后决定走。真的不是因为厌倦了记者的生活,而是内心总是有把声音,质问自己“就是这样吗?”真的,继续下去没有什么不好。工资稳定、经验丰富、偶尔还有出国的机会。可是如果留下来,好像有点对不起自己。没有勇敢寻找自己真正要的。

 

踏出去后才发现,人最大的敌人真的是自己。没有什么比自我怀疑、自我否定更可怕。其实有很多事是自己能够胜任的、得到别人赞许的。偏偏,没有自信的自己反而深怕自己会辜负别人的期许。

 

人就是那么奇怪的动物。我应该学着正常些。

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